The Ripped Soul

The Conference?

It sucked. Literally. While Bubbles aka Ernie may have found it funny cos Randall and Benedict created mayhem and argued with Father over tempo and the STUPID UNCALLED FOR remark he made on children's mass, I just thought it was all stupid. It was all fucked up. I saw everything the moment He said it was not of his responsibility to tell us off AFTER mass.

Well, you know what?

... I just don't care anymore. I'm tired. I'm so fucking tired. I just got one thing to say.

Before the debate could start, Aunt Magaret said that all we needed to have was an OPEN mind.

Our minds were open, yes. Our minds are forever open. The generation of today is FUCKING open minded.

But we are the ones with the open mind. Does HE have an open mind?

It didn't look like it was to me.

PEOPLE WITH OPEN MINDS COME TO A COMPROMISE. THEY DISCUSS ON WHAT CAN BE DONE TO SAVE THINGS. RELATIONSHIPS. In the conference, he just sounded like he wanted everything his way, AND HIS WAY ALONE. Tempo must be slow. Music must be slow. Anything we said was replied with a "this is the directive of the church. if you disobey the directives, its SIN."

So yeah. We're all sinners. WE JUST DISOBEYED THE DIRECTIVES WHAT.

Whatever man. I'm just sick of it. WE SPENT AN HOUR DISCUSSING ON ONE FUCKING TOPIC, AND NOTHING CHANGED. So what if he apologized? It didn't look like he meant it. MORE LIKE HE WAS FORCED TO COS WE REFUSED TO LET IT GO. And you know what? I still don't let it go. He still has the cheek to boast about how good he fucking is. "Oh you know... I used to set up a choir all on my own. Oh... I used to sing 2 octaves."

DO I SOUND AND LOOK LIKE I FUCKING CARE, WHAT YOU CAN DO, WHAT YOU HAVE DONE BEFORE IN WHATEVER CHURCH YOU WERE AT?

ASK HIM TO SET UP HIS OWN CHOIR LAR! I KNOW I'M LEAVING. THIS IS THE LAST. WHETHER OR NOT DAWN LEAVES. I'M SICK OF THIS. ITS JUST SAD HOW I HAD TO SEE EVERYTHING HAPPEN WITHIN A WEEK. FIRST THE MUSIC MINISTRY MEETING. NOW THIS FUCKING CONFERENCE. IT JUST SHOWS HOW FUCKING FUCKED UP THE DAMN CHURCH POLITICS ARE LIKE. THEY DIDN'T EVEN HAVE ANYONE TO CONTROL THE SITUATION. THEY LET FATHER SAY, AND EVEN WHEN WE CUT IN, AND WHEN HE RAISED HIS VOICE EVEN HIGHER, NO ONE STOPPED IT. KNOW HOW FUCKED IT WAS? NO ONE STOPPED TO LET THE SITUATION DROP. THEY JUST LET THE CIRCLE GO ROUND AND ROUND.

ITS ALL FUCKED UP.

NOW THEY WISH THAT BY DOING THIS THE YOUTH WILL STAY? I DON'T KNOW ABOUT YOU GUYS. YOU GUYS MIGHT STAY, MIGHT GO, I DON'T KNOW. THE YOUTH - THE LEADERS OF TOMORROW. KISS MY ASS. NOT IN THIS CHURCH AS LONG AS THIS SYSTEM OF POLITICAL PRACTICES EXIST.

AND YOU. YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO BE OUR VOICE. YOU SOUNDED LIKE YOU WERE MORE ON HIS FUCKING SIDE AND ON REPRIMANDING US RATHER THAN YOU TRYING TO HELP US BRING OUR POINT ACROSS.

Just whatever. I've had enough of this. The whole damn fucking thing is just sad.

Its just sad. Very, very sad.