The Ripped Soul

So. Its CNY. There's no school on Mon and Tues [YES!] but... there's a ton of homework that's due on Wednesday. Sigh.

After one? week of ignorance, thoughts, and crazy advice everyone's been giving me - I forgave her? Gave her another chance. Another chance to either prove that she would change? to make this friendship work? Another chance to prove that he was seriously the fucker who was breaking us up? Another chance to prove that she IS trustworthy?

Whatever the chance was for.

Just gave it to her.

But if she does it again.... we're dead beyond over. Period. And no more of the "I'm sorry bestie" or whatever. Its just - The-End-of-what-could-have-been-the-friendship-with-the-happy-ending. - that easy. May break your heart to hear those words come out of my mouth, but I really don't care anymore. My heart has gone numb. It doesn't feel the piercing of the dagger that still clings onto the flesh.

Anyways, told her bout the condition, and she's cool with it as well.

We met each other earlier for some dinner at Yoshinoya's down at town. Funny how I could just.. talk to her. Laugh with her. Like as if nothing happened. Like as if ALL that was just a nightmare, and reality was when I was with her. Crazy really. But yeah. Even though we made up, the bond between us felt infected. Or at least, that's how it felt like to me. It was like as if a disease was eating me up in silence. Shouldn't have met her, come to think of it. Things just felt .. off.

Sigh.

Hopefully things will get better. Soon. This is just a new start.

So yeah. All you out there who told me that I'm better off without her, can tell her to drop dead or FO... you guys can go home now. Haha. The "Fan-roll eyes-tastic" duo is back. Hah. In my dreams..

By the way - this is so out of the context - have you ever heard Mariah sing when she was first in the business? Songs like Fantasy.. Heartbreaker.. Dreamlover.. Butterfly..

I like heartbreaker. Beats and rhythms are just fab.

Heartbreaker, you've got the best of me.
But I just keep on comin' back incessantly.
Oh why did you have to run your game on me?
I should have known right from the start,
You'd go and break my heart..
Gimme your love, gimme your love,
Gimme your love, gimme your love.

Check it out.