The Ripped Soul

About my last post, forget it. I really can't be bothered with what the world thinks of me anymore. I just know one thing for sure. After O levels, when its results day, I'll just say sorry to all the teachers I've offended in my earlier blogs. Whether or not they want to forgive me, .. another whole story, yah?

And like I said.. if anyone feels offended or wants me to take down an entry, I'll take it down. Provided there's a valid reason behind it. Like.. they'll kill me if I don't take it down, or the friendship or relationship between me and the person would be greatly affected, then fine. It's gone. Deleted. Okay?

Moving on..

About yesterday's outing, please refer to Rach's or AJ's blog.

I'm kidding.

Yesterday, met up with the babes for Ice3. First time the babes been there and the place is like, OPEN.. so.. haha. They were all excited and stuff. Simple minded buddies I got, I know. AJ sounded like a male [cos of flu], but to no surprise of course. She's a shemale, right? HAHA. Kidding. Shemale, lesbian, liar, slut, whore, bitch.. whatever you call her, I don't care. Cos whatever you people call her, she's still my best friend. And nope, nothing you say or do can change that fact. So then she ordered some crap ice cream called Apple Cinnamon and Rach ordered some yummy choc volcano explosion thing.. and I had my choc ICE blast. YUM! (:

Oh and did you know? They were so shocked when they saw me wearing ear rings. I forgot that only the LCians saw me with it on Easter Vigil. Yikes. Rach couldn't stop going ON AND ON about me wearing it and how cute/pretty I looked in it. [eeks]

After which, we crapped about, played around, took each other's ice cream, bitched about everything and anything, and paid the guy before leaving. Rach had some shaker fries thing from Macs, and my budget bestie changed her mind on her Watermelon juice. Why? B'cos At SGN GDNS, they bloody sold it at $3 when they only sell it for $1 at school. So fine, they got what they wanted, then they took a bus to collect something from some guy. We got lost on the way and I panicked. Cos it was 8+ then, and I was planning to see if Energy was still at INK like Phil said they'd be. AND it was a school night and I had a whole damned pile of homework which waited for me at home. Urgh.

So we alighted, and then Rach insisted that I take a cab there to Raffles. I declined at first cos it wasn't a hurry, or a need.. but more of a desperate want. But she persuaded me into it, shoved 12 in my hand before pushing me in a cab. The driver was a bloody pain in the ass. He kept on talking and talking NONSTOP. From other taxi drivers, to understanding their plight, to my friends, to why I'm out so late, to whether or not I had my dinner, to other forms of transport, to some old lady crossing the road when it was already 945pm, to where I should drop, to where I should walk.. And he's damn lame la shit.

him: wah, you so lucky today hor? streets here so empty. See? Sommore the meter only 8+.. tell you ah.. sure reach there.. not even $10.
me: erm.. yeah. thanks yeah, uncle?
him: so lucky ah.. haha.
me: ha-ha. what can I say? God's on my side.
him: haha! God's on your side.. you know not? normally if come here ah, sure jam. because this is most busiest part of the city.
me: yeah i know.. this place is damn packed on weekends. but its a thursday today.. so go figure.
him: ah.. but now people smart. people go party and club all on thursday and weekday because they don't want to get caught in the jam on weekend.
me: really? maybe lah, uncle.
him: so lucky ah.. i think if you buy 4D today, sure strike ah!

Yes, he's just another kind of the many Weird Taxi Drivers. I tried so many times to stop him from talking.. but urgh.

If I could stuff a hanky in his mouth and point a gun to his head and say "step on it." I bloody well would've.

But he took me there on time, and he didn't cheat me of any cash.. so he's forgiven. Pretty nice chap, if not for his neverending conversations.

So then I walked past Bakerzin, looked at the watch: 9pm. I thought they'd be there, so I walked past the carpark entrance to INK. The neon lights were't flashing. They were not there. I was so sure of it. Didn't dare to head in INK as I was alone, and there was a bouncer[?] standing outside. Together with a security guard who kept on staring at me like I had my boobs on my head or something. But I still wanted to double check. So fine. Walked in the Raffles Plaza, walked past the side entrance of INK, she wasn't sitting there at the lounge like how she was the other time with Gavin. Walked around for abit, went to the toilets just to waste time, went back there, no one.

Felt so devastated. Walked past the entrance again, all I could hear was jazz music playing. Asked Nick what time was the first set usually played: 1030.

TEN THIRTY. I'D BE SPENDING ONE WHOLE HOUR THERE ALONE BY MYSELF!

If I had company, I wouldn't mind.. But.. sigh.

I didn't know whether to cry, laugh, or throw myself at the ongoing traffic on the road. Thoughts rushed. Got all stressed up as I paced at the traffic light.

I took Rach's $12 for nothing.
And I have to pay her back no matter what, even though she said I didn't have to.

I was standing around there foolishly,
having all the tourists look at me like I was some lost kid.

I had SO much homework waiting for me at home,
and there I was in the middle of town, waiting for something that I knew would never come.

It was getting late.
It was a damned school night.
I was supposed to be home. Period.

My responsible self dragged my body all the way to the bus stop.

Felt so lousy. Devastated. Screwed. Whenever I heard the songs on my mp3 sung by the band that night, I felt like a total idiot.

And maybe I was.

On the bus, I couldn't help but think. What if I really saw them? Then what? Would I dare to go up to them and say "HEY! You guys still playing here? I thought you guys said you'd be gone?" Or would I act all casual and cool and go "Hey.. sup." And in the means, lie about everything and try to get an autograph or something? Or would I go all crazy at the sight of her and act like how a fan would? Or would I be SO shy and run off at the first glance?

My heart was pounding as I walked past the lounge. That's one thing I knew for sure.

Somehow I thank God I didn't see them. Somehow I curse my stupidity. Somehow, I wished I had someone there with me. Somehow I wished it wasn't a bloody freaking school night. Somehow I prayed that I wouldn't get in trouble for not doing homework. Somehow I wished I could've caught a glimpse of them. Somehow I wished I wasn't that crazy over them[but I am].

Somehow.

Walked home, came online, but everything felt like a drag. The devastation was killing me. When I looked at my homework, I felt like leaving it on the altar to burn. So I just shut off the light and went to sleep.

Today at school, rushed through my homework. Prayed to every single saint up there to help me out. To not let the t'chers take any homework, to let me finish copying before the lesson bell rang. And I finished them all. Every single one of them. Ha!

Then Rach came crying to me. I panicked. The load off my back piled itself back on.

Some bastard stole her phone.

Consoled her for a lil bit, talked to her for a lil bit.. and I felt damn guilty for not doing much.

So you know what? Here goes an entire paragraph cursing the bastard who took the phone.

To the thief:

Right now as you have my friend's phone, I pray that firstly, sometime around, something important gets stolen from you. And I pray that you can never get it back. I hope, I wish and I pray so hard, that you get back what you deserve, and that karma strikes its hardest at you. When you grow old and want to get married, I pray that you have the inability to have kids. But should you have any by chance or by God's grace, I pray that all your generations suffer for what you did. For every tear that Rachelle cried today, I pray that your generations cry many times more for what you did. And when you die, I pray that you die and go to hell 6, 597, 984, 236 times. Seems so unreal, I know. But its just a prayer. Some prayers get answered, some prayers don't. I just wish and pray and hope and DREAM that you get back your own retribution. And if your reply to that is "dream on.."

You never really died before by my hands eh?

To the whore who said that 4E3 = ???

You can go jump off the highest storey of your house and go burn in the fires of hell. I pray you pass your prelims, but fail your O's so badly, that even the government won't hire you as a toilet cleaner.

And so that's that. I know I'm vulgar, I know I'm nasty.. but hey. That's me. And that's just who I am. Don't like me, then.. there's always the alt+F4.

Have a nice day. (: