The Ripped Soul

"Sometimes the last person on earth you want to be with.. is the person you can't be without."

Ever felt that way? I know I picked this skin.. just because of that one line. That one sentence. Means so much to me. Especially with all these love-hate relationships with everyone.. my mom, my dad, my buddies, my best friend, my school mates.. But then again. It also has another new meaning. you.

You called me all the way from up there. I actually felt elated - at that moment. Then I was just brought back into the zone. Reminded of what's your status and what's mine. It's just not right, you and me. Together. I couldn't even picture it. You said you'd be every girl's last pick on earth. Like how I'd be every guy's last pick on earth.. And I actually feel this sense of attraction. To you. It's so wrong, but the more I keep telling myself that we're so wrong, the more insane this attraction gets.. Someone ought to slap me back to my senses.. and they better do it quick. For denial is failing me and I'm actually starting to believe that I might just fall hopelessly.. gulp.. in love with.. you.

YUCK.

Okay, that was just SO damn eek. Yes, please puke out the window. Yes, please call 911. Yes, please shoot me in the head. Yes, please send the CIA after my ass. Yes, slap me. Yes, please flush my brains out with dettol. And Jeremy, PLEASE don't ignore my calls when you're back from Aussie. I swear to God I do NOT like him-like him. Even though that's just how it looks like. And do not tell me to go with him. I CANNOT AND WILL NEVER DO SO. Ever. I think.

He and I are so different. SO damn different. I like music and movies, he likes japanese comics and anime and anime music. I like Jessica Alba and Angelina Jolie, he likes Tifa Lockheart and Rinoa. I'm a catholic, he's not. It's just wrong. He's like a puzzle piece from another box. We just don't fit. And I just got this creepy feeling that he likes me. As in, likes me likes me. I'm okay if he likes me.. like as a friend kinda thing. But if he takes that liking to another level, then I DO mind. And its like he's dropping SO many hints. He's sitting next to me in class, he helps me in my homework, he watches my every move, he put my friend's "what to get" list at the bottom and mine at the top.. and then that phone call to me just to let me know he's at the top of the mountain, he's okay, no injuries, and that he's got me the Advent Children CD I wanted.

And as much as I hate to say it, when he was absent the whole time this week, I actually missed his presence. EEK! OKAY! Please slap me again. Slap me harder. But its not wrong to miss a friend what.. right? SIGH.

I swear, he's really the last person on earth I'd ever be with. Honestly. I'd like a guy my size. My type. The kinda guy who shares the same interests as me. The momma's boy with VERY nice hair. Who dresses up REALLY nicely. I'm cool with shirts and jeans. Not like some Ah Beng in TSHIRTS and kiddy jeans.. with dyed hair. I hate guys who don't look good in dyed hair - but yet insist that they're good looking. God.. And I'd like a guy who is nice. Sure, he fits NICE. In fact, the kind of nice-ness I'd like to see in guys. But he doesn't fit the rest...

I want my soulmate. The PERFECT soulmate. Someone I can fall in love with everyday when I wake up. I don't want to just like a guy just cos he's good looking, or just cos he's nice, or just cos he's rich.. I'm just not like that.

Anyway, hopefully I don't sound so mean or choosy. Or like a typical plastic, for that matter. It would be odd if I sounded like one when I actually detest them.

Moving on.. the report's almost done. Just need another 2 days. Then tomorrow! OH TOMORROW! Mom and me are going to catch Over The Hedge with Veronica. That small kiddy cousin of mine.. she drives me up the wall, but ahhh. I love her, all the same. Can't wait! (: Then Friday, if plans go accordingly, Andrea, Steffi and Me are gonna catch XMEN3:TheLastStand. Can't wait for that either. ANYONE WANNA FOLLOW? Last Call..

And I think I might just go get some new shoes on Friday. MIGHT. Plan to get Dunks, but I might get the Adidas pair I've been dying to get all along.. I dunno. Maybe I'll buy FLESHIMP shirts or TOPMAN tshirts. We'll see.

Sigh.. so many things to do, so little time. I still got 3 compositions to email to my teacher. What the hell... AND my holiday is running short. Damn.

I suddenly have a craving for Swensen's rodeo wings.. and sticky chewy choc.. and to share it with.. ( as crazy as it sounds ) my best friend. No, not now when she's such an asshole.. more like when she was her very nice self at that time..

Oh well... maybe I'll go have some tomorrow with mom and the kid. (((((: