The Ripped Soul

Sigh.. with all these disappointments lately, christmas is really starting to suck.

Church is one thing, my family is another.

I know I've quit choir, but somehow I still care for the going-ons in it. So yes, the mentioned 'closure' was really a prick in my neck. But given the circumstances, choir should really just close huh? Old foggies coming in, guys moving to HS, everyone still feeling like shit, everyone saying choir is boring/not the same/sian.. whatever. Lets just let everyone split, go their own paths.. and if friendships remain, they remain.. if they don't, maybe it was never meant to be eh? Anyway, it was all starting to be a drag right? All we ever did was just drag on and on and on... trying desperately to keep a fire burning alive when it was already dying. So close it. End of story. And if anyone plans to do a comeback, for the love of the world, do not call me back.

Family.. everyone's being a bitch. From aunties to uncles to grandparents. Thank God everyone's dying. Can't wait for the day when they kick the damn bucket. Everyone prays, goes to churches, says peace be with you, i love you, has christmas parties, talks hella big about the spirit of giving, sharing, but they make so much fuss about letting a person who has made a mistake into their home. Lets just hope she never finds this shit piece of news out. I can only imagine her hatred for you people when she is mature enough and knows what you think of her. Wish you morons poverty and misery for the new year. Assclowns.

And just when you thought things couldn't get any worse, indians think its VERY funny when they insult anyone on the street. You wanna know why I was so pissed in my other entry? The sonofabitch called me fat, ugly, disgusting and said that no one will ever like me because I am that way. I detested his tone and the way he said it insanely, and I hate how I wasn't able to do anything in the spur of the moment. I'd give my life if I had a team of power rangers or whatever who'd kick his sorry ass all the way back to the damn slums in india.

Then, my very good friend stops talking to me just because I wouldn't go out with her or cut a deal. I really don't see why she can't be reasonable. I can't simply go out with her and be all crazy. It'd be so weird. I know I'm bonkers, but I didn't come from a mental asylum. There are times when I run out of ideas and become quiet. When I go out with people, I need a party, not a crowd only - if entertainment's the point of the outing. So when Drey couldn't go out, what could I do? I said no, and wow, she starts giving me attitude with the capital A and starts ignoring me. Sheesh.

I'm sorry Ernie. I'm so sorry that I couldn't go out with you because of the weather, because of that stupid fear that the same thing would happen again when I go out late, because I had to wrap dumbass presents, because I was afraid that I'd be so boring and the outing would be wasted... I'm sorry.

Now if this Christmas doesn't suck enough, the weather isn't helping either. I can't go out, puddles are ankle deep, and if its gonna continue like this, I might just hibernate like a Grizzly bear in my comforter and play my PSP all night long on Xmas eve. How about that?

Now do you know why I'm such a sad, sad clown in MSN?