The Ripped Soul

So I paid a visit to Jubilate on the weekend. Only cos well.. Colleen made me feel kinda guilty, and as much as I hate to admit it, I was starting to miss everyone in choir. And hearing everyone say that choir sucks cos there's no laughter or its boring kinda caught me off guard. I mean, with Aloy there.. I thought he was supposed to be the laughing stock of the century. With him around, there's supposed to be laughter right? ...Right? I guess not..

SIGH.

And Drey! You're so wrong lah. You made it sound like everyone sounds so CMI for X'mas. You guys sound pretty okay! From my pov anyway. Though there are some parts missing here and there.. and tenors sounding a lil bit empty.. and the kids sounding a lil airy-fairy.. [its solvable by the way; just have the warm-ups done before practice] ........... The old folks sound good. You guys sound good. Midnight mass is bound to be awesomey! Really!

So then I sat with Elvin and laughed and laughed and laughed till all the cows came home. Almost felt like the good ol days. Then Daryl came and sat with me and we were making fun of the organist playing like those Cheena soap operas. Think "Wong Fei Hong" style. With the big ass drums and guzhengs playing and the emperor coming out to face his people. LOL. Gosh.. leave Jubilate for awhile and things DO happen. The choir becomes chinesey, Andrea's dancing for Feast Day, Daryl's hair grew back.. HAHAHA.

And Daryl said something I pretty much agree with when it was break time.

D: If only we had control of time..
me: control?
D: yeah.. I'd just love to rewind us all back to a year or two.
me: yeah.. me too.

Why?

The Cliffy era. Wouldn't have said all those hurtful stuff.
Pouring a bucket of water all over Dawn. Would have poured the water over Andrea instead. HAHA. No lah. I think given the time, I still would have thrown at least a water balloon at Dawn. And another at Andrea. HAHAHA. Or maybe poured one bucket over Dawn and another bucket over Drey. HAHAHAHA. Evil, I am. I know. I know.
Wouldn't have said all those mean things to whoever. Dawn, Colleen, Steffi, Gen, Drey, Ernie..
Wouldn't have argued with Mag. Would have just left her to her own life.
Wouldn't have drank at Joel's house. Still feel a wee bit guilty for that incident.
Would have told Ernie sooner or later that the mo-fu-ke-fu thing was all a big JOKE. HAHAHA. Aloy, if you ever do read this, did we tell E that it was a joke? The whole Wyn thing? LOL..

And well, maybe. Just maybe. I maybe would never have joined YM/LC/Jubilate in the first place. Wouldn't have gotten to know hell lots of great, fantastic, awesome, loving, [list goes on] people, but then again, wouldn't have gotten hurt when everything didn't turn out pretty fine as everyone thought it would... Laughing year after year till everyone goes red, thoughts of giving up choir/LC; then something happens and everything's a-okay, bullying Dawn whenever given the chance, talking during practice, laughing during practice, seeing Nick making fun of Aloy, drinking with Dicky and Randall, partying at HQ, making the kids laugh, wearing Zac's jersey that smelt like dead fish, playing catching in the middle of the night, laughing at Celest when she can't catch people no matter how fast she tries to run, spinning around on the merry-go-round with the girls and guys till I get super dizzy, singing hymns and carols at bus stops, getting the Dawn-Verena yell every Christmas in choir, prepping for carolling, running and stopping in the middle of the road at Somerset just to take a group picture, experiencing the Christmas chill together, sneaking out in the middle of the night to see Energy with the guys, screaming out "Zombie" with Benedict, getting awed by fantastic musicians, jamming with Aloy and the guys, sitting in our little circles, bitching and talking non stop anytime anywhere, playing Eating Link, indian poker, water vessel games, crude charades...

Gosh.

I don't know. Somehow, even after leaving, it just doesn't feel right. I felt like I neglected my siblings or something. But in another funny way, it feels better leaving. And desperately trying to forget all the fun things we ever did. So maybe I'll come back for more fun. Or not.

We'll see la huh.. we'll see.