The Ripped Soul

Where are you Christmas,
Why can't I find you?
Why have you gone away?
Where is the laughter,
You used to bring me?
Why can't I hear music play?
My world is changing,
I'm rearranging..
Does that mean Christmas changes too?

2006's Christmas for me....

..was nothing really special. Spent X'mas eve at my uncle's and went for mass at SVDP. Mass wasn't all that fantastic either cos hearing a whole load of aunties singing soprano parts off key just SUCKED big fucking time.. but the sermon was good thanks to Fr Clifford. Swear to God I felt like screaming at a point "STOP SINGING IN YOUR DAMN PARTS!" ...Grr. One thing I hate right down to the very bone is when people don't sing properly/sing like as if they KNOW its supposed to sound like that when its all wrong. Feel like stuffing bananas in their mouths and telling them to shaaddaapp. Clowns. After that, had to listen to a couple of bad jokes and carry a 4 year old tonner home. Now I got a backache that even watson's massager can't make better. Man...

I may not have had enough alcohol to knock me out this season as how I always will have thanks to Auggy and Dicky, but my uncle spoiled me and gave me a couple of cups to toast to [one gawddamn sucky] christmas and [probably even worse] new year.

More relatives came on christmas day.. wasn't in the mood to see my other uncle. And his wife. Clowns. Stayed in kiddy room where I was bullied all day long. Tackles, climbs, tickles... gosh. Am I destined to be bullied by little kids? Gen, Steffie, Ruth, Colleen.... now my cousins?!

Visited my Godmother, which rocked because of the Oxtail soup and curry and stew and WOOHOO. And her dog finally stopped barking the moment I stepped in her house.. cute Ol' Floppy. And my godsister was an awesome entertainer.. talking about all the tribal boobs hanging on national geographic.. LOL. And I managed to make em laugh.. wasn't enough to fill the laughing tank, but better than nothing.

Skipped Aunt M's house for visitation cos I heard that J was asked to go down as well. I had the strongest feeling in my life that if I went, I'd definetly have been put in a spot. And that'd make my Christmas suckier.. like as if it wasn't sucky enough.

Other than that, christmas wasn't really christmas. Just another rainy day in December whizzing by. With opened presents under the tree and a soap dish sitting on the table. With food on the dining table and coke whizzing in the cup.

Just another holiday.. like Hari Raya or CNY or Diwali or whatever. Nothing special.

Sigh..