The Ripped Soul

Lady Gaga's concert was awesome. Far out. Beyond imagination. I fucking loved it to bits. From the start to the end.
And the best part of all of it?
I got to see her up close and personal, not once, not twice, but THRICE.
I befriended the drummer, who was SOOOOOOOOOOO cute and funny and *faints*
..the guitarist, and the bassist as well. :D
They signed on my cap.

Being on Team G wasn't that bad.. But I could maybe tell that R didn't really like me much. It was nice to work with Yas and Shah though. And the mgmt? I could SO tell they didn't like my guts. Even to show up at the office today, they asked what I was doing there.

"Catering."

And I walked up. They said nothing. Don't get their deal... Oh wait, I know why I hate them. They said "why give her a chance to go when she's leaving? Might as well give it to someone that stays."

Nicely done, clowns.

But back to catering. I won't lie; damn, it was tiring. Didn't do catering jobs for a while.. last I did was when? Back in the day with LC? Church? Choir? Sunday evenings? Suddenly jumping back to it and the weight suddenly just killed my muscles. The experience was awesome, though, I won't lie. Seeing people backstage, dealing with the food, befriending other people from other departments, from the crew members to the security, even.

I loved it.

I just wished that I could have shared that awesome bits with someone, you know?

Attending a concert by yourself.. not so fun.

Today was Keane's. Had fun, though I wasn't so much into the concert. I was more into taking pictures with people and asking about their jobs and everything.

Pity the night had to end sour..

I don't know what's wrong anymore. I just feel that we're being distant, the closeness isn't there anymore.. like I'm a stranger, all over again. It hurts? No idea why. And it's been like that for a while now. Rather, that's how it just felt like to me.. Ever since that week. Was it something I said? Didn't say? Something I did? Didn't do?

Was it the cigarettes? Accepting the money? Allowing them to treat me so freely? Pissing her off further when she was tired? Pressing her about getting me to go for the concert? Being SO friendly with her that management was jumping on her about issues on me?

What did I do for the closeness to just.. sigh.

And earlier when she just snapped at me in the car, I was just wowed.

What the fuck! Eh. EHH!

And silence in car.

Even yesterday.. leaving, waiting to get a cab.. Poked her and she's like "TSSSSSSK. What, Jess? I'm tired."

Sigh..

I gave Jasmin up. Ray left to go home. I just lost Avi. Now it feels like I'm gonna lose Anna too.

Better be prepared to live in a world of solitude, Jess..

Hah. Shit... At this rate, I'll probably have no one at the end.

Go Superman! Woo. Think of butterflies, beautiful nature, a wonderful world, Lady Gaga and the band... hmm.

Now to go lick my wounds up and wake up feeling like the world is mighty fine.. not.