The Ripped Soul

The thoughts are coming back again. The voices, the silence in the house..

Twins asked me to go along for Raya visiting. I didn't, though.

Afraid? Maybe.

I've heard what they had to say about me anyway. Burden and all, right?

Isn't it funny how they would NEVER pick on my brother for not being 'man' enough to look after my mom and me... but they would pick on me if I didn't have a proper job, or didn't earn enough, or didn't study enough.

It's like as if I'm never good enough. Not for anyone.

Earlier I sat on mom's bed, and I just thought of ending it.

Ending this.

I just wanted to kill myself so badly. Literally. I was half scared I might do something stupid, so I killed half a box of cigarettes and knocked myself out.

Fuck.