The Ripped Soul

I'm tired of my ego getting bruised time and again with only taking it and eating the shit you fucks give in silence.

I don't know how many times I'm gonna have to face friends mocking my wallet, what I earn, the life I have, the life I'm living, what I'm doing. First at Toysrus, buddies poking fun of the job I had to do, and the salary I brought home. Family and relatives were questioning my career and what I was gonna do in life. Then Charco's, my friends were laughing because I work at a restaurant-wannabe place that doesn't pay well, and is located right in the middle fuck of nowhere, in a coffee shop. Then BJ, and people were saying I could do SO much better, friends were pointing out their lives and their future careers while I had none except the pay of a fucking server while doing a supervisor's job.

I appreciate you guys looking out for me, asking if I need a job, if I wanna work, or hell, controlling me and telling me you set up a damn interview for me and I'm expected to be there when and where. Thank you. Thanks so much. Not being sarcastic, by the way.

But the appreciation cuts there. Additional talk of "yeah, so you can work instead of lazing your fat ass at home hahaha" is not my thing. You guys think it's a fucking holiday here in Sims Place, don't you? That I totally enjoy waking up late every morning, NOT knowing where I have to go, what I have to do.

It's not a fucking fiesta being in my shoes.

I - can't - go out. I can't afford to. Can you just understand that line?

You think its fun to stay in a house, in a room, a place with four walls all the time. To be confined to the comfort of nothing but a PSP, books and magazines while they have it outside. To watch others eat. To watch others bring home all sorts of wonderful things. To listen to bragging rights they have. Let me tell you something - it's not. I'm losing my mind here, and I'm just counting days. It's like I'm being grounded for no reason. I'm almost losing my sanity.

Personally I wish that whole thing is true. The millions promised to them, the million promised to me. But I was raised knowing money doesn't fall from the sky. Even more so, in that amount.

I know I need a job. I know I need to work again, to earn again, not only because it's gonna help me, but it'll help when YOU guys wanna go out, so you won't have to worry about me.

Just.. enough. I've had it with you fucks making fun of me, or bringing back whatever I blog out. I said "stay away" and till that conversation I thought maybe I could get over it, but I guess not.

Stay away.