The Ripped Soul

Minutes feel like hours, hours feel like days..

But one thing stays the same. The thought in my head, the wonderment of going over, of flying over, of spending time with her, with them. I think and wonder if she even thinks of me, wonder what she would think if I really did go over. Would she even like me as much in real life as much as she does online? And all the thoughts of what we'd do when I'm there. Go crazy in malls, watch horror movies.. maybe she'd laugh at me. Like how Jas did when we watched The Strangers. Or like how Clarence and Anna were so amused at how I reacted during Shutter.

Daydream and wonder what their skies would look like, what it would even feel like, to walk along their sandy beaches. To feel the rain or snow on your skin. To feel the sunlight kiss your face. To be able to gaze at stars while laying on grass. To even have a conversation with her, face to face. To spread sundae ice cream all over her fingers, like how I usually do with all my friends here. To pop MnMs like she said she would back then in fiesta. To watch a movie together. To listen to music and rip tracks off her PC. To push her in a pool. Ticklefests. Screamfests. When I sleep, would I sleep in peace? Would she be there? Would we be laughing so much that we'll both get tired? Will we never wanna sleep? Will we even sleep? Hahaha.

And as much as the thoughts, the wonderment, and the dreams feel so.. nice, feel too good to be true.. I know it won't happen tomorrow. But yet something in me just keeps saying don't give up.

It feels crazy, being this smitten all over again. Just when I thought I'd never love again, Cupid shoots one right up and strikes straight through my heart.

But maybe she might not feel the same.. who's to know, anyway?

Another sleepless night... and more wishes and dreams to go over and be there. You think maybe if I wished hard enough it might really happen?

I hope so.

Talked to someone new on facebook, he seems like a nice guy. He's a gurkha in the camp, in Singapore. And talking to him, I couldn't help but stop and think of Debal.. and how I missed him so much. I don't know why either, but I felt like I was betraying Debal while talking to this chap. He's a nice fellow though, and the way he said stuff reminded me of times back then.

I miss you. :(