The Ripped Soul

You are history. You were part of my life till you walked out of it. Correction. Maybe. Till I decided to end things cleanly and walk out of your front door literally, never to look back. Deciding that I was better than this and that if you really wanted me, you would come get me. If you really deserved me, you would fight for me. And that if you felt that I wasn't worth fighting for, then you don't deserve me.

With that said, I moved on. I tried to move on. It was a bitch, it was painfully hard, but I managed. I'm still managing.

So why are you hanging around? Why text me on my birthday wishing me and saying you hope I'm well? Why try to be nice? Why try to mend a friendship when it's been broken? When you broke it? When it showed once that it clearly failed?

We were friends once. But we pulled that friendship to the next level and became lovers. We had a relationship. Or struggled to have one.

When that happens and when it fails, and when the reason it fails is NOT because you were better as friends, or relationships isn't your thing..

..but when reasons are when we were struggling to even be friends in a relationship, when you are hiding your relationship, when we fight all the time with each other because of it... when the fights and the arguments stress both of us out to a point where it affects other aspects of our lives; work, studies, school, family...

You don't go back to being friends. You don't drop a relationship, the romance in it, the love in it, and pretend we can be the best friends that we were 10 years ago. Not.

If you weren't proud to have me as your girlfriend before, what good would I be your friend now? If you just wanted friendship you should have just kept it at that and just shut up about wishing I would be your girlfriend, because clearly, you couldn't handle it! You couldn't handle me. And I'm not even a tough one to carry. Metaphorically.

I'm a simple girl, and all I wish for are simple things to expect in a relationship.

But even that was too much to ask for.

So don't come around, don't play nice, don't pretend to play nice. Don't try and mend what's broken and what just won't fix.

I'd rather just keep the bittersweet memories of what we had with me. It won't work again, and I'm pretty damn fucking certain this time around.