You want to see a very bitter side of me?

The Jess everyone knows is the Jess that believes in love, that would give chances, that would play nice and pretend that everything's fine, right? Have you ever seen the Jess when she has her claws out? No? Then you're on for a ride.

you know what? I like you Jess. You’re still young enough to not have had the idealism of youth beaten out of you.

You wanna see the idealism of youth beaten out of me?

Fuck love. You know that? Because it leads to rejection, hurt, pain when it's all gone. When you're left with nothing but regret and memories that haunt you for the everyday of your living being. When you end up alone and when sleep is a bitch till 4am in the morning because you're tossing and turning and you miss the warm comfort of another body next to you. When you're out and you have to look at other couples be so happy together. When you get to see them do the things you did, and you're wondering to yourself "where's mine? Where did my love go?" When you're out with your friends and they're with their girlfriends or boyfriends and you're all by yourself. You're alone.

Fuck loneliness. Fuck misery. Fuck people. Fuck work. Fuck a job. Fuck paying bills. Fuck houses. Fuck responsibilities. Fuck emotions. Fuck girls. Fuck guys. Fuck phones and communications. Fuck bad music. Fuck copycats. Fuck movies. Fuck waking up. Fuck death. Fuck life. Fuck it all.

Fuck friends. You know why? Because at some point or other, they're all gonna disappoint you. If they don't backstab you, they'll cancel out on you. If they don't replace you, they'll walk out of your life. If you don't leave them, they'll leave you. If you don't forget them, they might forget you. If you're not the asshole, they probably are. If you don't yell at them, they'll probably yell at you.

And it's YOUR challenge as a person to see if you can forgive. To see if you can forget. To see if you can be the bigger person in this and give it another shot, another chance and just let it go. It's your choice as the person to hope for better or just settle for worse.

And it just sucks, right? You take so much of people's shit and then you're the one that has to forgive them, have patience, forget their mistakes and move the fuck on.

And you know why you do that shit?

Because you LOVE them. You love them for who they are, you love their friendship, love their company, so on and so forth for whatever reasons that you love them.

Which brings me back to my first point.

Fuck love.

Fuck friends.

Fuck it all.