The Ripped Soul

So I had a Corona earlier when we were walking around town.

Can't remember the last time my face got so red. Okay, wait. Maybe I do remember. Ummmm, out with Anna and Yas and drinking and my face was red too.

But this was just crazy.

I was singing out loud on the road opposite the Meridien, I was singing AND dancing in 313's cotton on, I was laughing so loud everywhere...

Yet as festive as I was on the outside, I felt like crying on the inside.

Pain feels so familiar that I'm almost numb to it, that I can't almost feel it anymore. But I know it's there. That painful ache in my heart that just never goes away.

It hurts.. but I learnt my lesson before, so I'm just going to hold on, stupid as it sounds.

I miss you so much, Shea. So much. So much. So much. I miss you so much. I miss you. I really do. And I wish everyday that you would never give me up, that you're holding on as I am, that you miss me as much as I do, that you love me more than the stars in the night, that you share a passion for me which burns bright like the morning light.

I never hear from you anymore that it's heartbreaking.. and sometimes inside I just cry silently, not knowing to wait or to let go. But I've let go before.. so I'll wait now. I'll wait. I promise to wait. I'll wait. I'll wait for you. Just wait for me too, please.. and I will come to you.

Can't you hear? My heart is whispering silently..

Please don't give up on me yet.. I love you!