The Ripped Soul

I can't be strong anymore. I'm tired of holding on, of fighting doubt, of fighting worry, heartache, pain, disappointment, misery. I'm tired of being like this, of drowning in this pain.

It feels like I am the only one excited about this trip, this flight.

It's 10 days away.

I feel it again. The same way I felt all those years ago. The anger when she leaves me silent, the suspicion, the jealousy, the rage inside.. boiling, just getting ready to explode.

When it hits me that I have lost trust. And knowing that without trust, there can be no love..

My heart cries. It does.

I want to trust you, I want to love you, I want you to love me too; but how can I when you're not even ..there.

Sigh.