The Ripped Soul

Because of You - Kelly Clarkson

I will not make the same mistakes that you did.
I will not let myself,
Cause my heart so much misery.
I will not break the way you did,
You fell so hard.
I've learned the hard way,
To never let it get that far..

Because of you, I never stray too far from the sidewalk.
Because of you, I learned to stay on the safe side so I don't get hurt.
Because of you, I find it hard to trust not only me, but everyone around me..
Because of you, I am afraid.

I lose my way,
And it's not too long before you point it out.
I cannot cry,
Because you know that's weakness in your eyes.
I'm forced to fake,
A smile, a laugh everyday of my life.
My heart can't possibly break,
When it wasn't even whole to start with..

Because of you, I never stray too far from the sidewalk.
Because of you, I learned to stay on the safe side so I don't get hurt.
Because of you, I find it hard to trust not only me, but everyone around me.
Because of you, I am afraid.

I watched you die,
I heard you cry every night in your sleep.
I was so young,
You should have known better than to lean on me.
You never thought of anyone else,
You just saw your pain,
And now I cry in the middle of the night,
For the same damn thing...

Because of you, I never stray too far from the sidewalk.
Because of you, I learned to stay on the safe side so I don't get hurt.
Because of you, I tried my hardest just to forget everything.
Because of you, I don't know how to let anyone else in.
Because of you, I'm ashamed of my life because it's empty.
Because of you, I am afraid.

Because of you...
Because of you.

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Just got back from AJ's. I wanted to sleep for another half hour and then some, but NOOOOO. Someone just HAD to wake me up. Last night, .. was okay. Think I'll never go hungry if I lived with my bestie. The supper her uncle brought back... OH BOY. Soya bean, 4 packs of fries, you tiao... Heavens. And he said the children in Africa are starving. LOL What's that supposed to mean? Anyway, he was sweet nuff to get me the coffee I was DYING for.

So yes, my dearest AJ, please thank your uncle for me again. (:

After supper, we went back to the room, joked for awhile, made fun of things.. then Rach kept taking me back to Memory Lane, when i was already VERY sleepy. How nice, don't you think? I was in the mood for pillow fights but Rach was like, "DON'T THROW PILLOWS AT MEEEEE! MY FACE COMPLEXION's VERY SENSITIVE." so well, I had to stop my bout of fun. AJ was busying herself with the camera, and Rach was enjoying herself by looking back on bittersweet times.. Christ.

I think everyone slept at 3am. Or later. I was told later when I woke up that I was a dead sleeper. AJ tried to wake me up at 6am, but I didn't reply at all. Hah. Ooh boy. Everyone woke up at 9am I reckon. That was the time when Rach started whacking me to wake me up. The nerve. Blonde.

After wash up AND my-nonsense-of-wanting-to-go-back-to-sleep-cos-everyone-wasn't-moving-their-bums, we went down for breakfast. Those two had fishball mee AND milo, while I just stuck to plain ol' milo. I was somehow dying for prata. Or murtabak. Oh boyy. Anyway, we split after breakfast. Rach had her own plans, and well. I wanted to SLEEP.

Hey, I'm a loafer. Can't blame me. Heh. I don't wake up later than 11+, AND SOMEONE HAD TO WAKE ME UP AT bloody well 9AM! SOBS.

So yeah. Later gotta go for YOUTH mass at OLPS with AJ. OH BOY. I hope that soloist is there. I miss her voice. LOL. AND then I need to practice for the psalms tomorrow. Best part? I forgot how the alleluia goes. WTF. I am so dead.