The Ripped Soul

Nights have passed.
Things are still left that way.

Hanging in the air.

Truth or lie, heaven only knows.

I'm broken beyond repair, so much so that I actually feel numb to this pain.
And she found out. Unbelievably, she cares. Told me not to stress about it. Not to brood over it. This year is my last, final important year. If I screw this up, its no one else's fault but mine, and mine alone.

And this should not get in the way for the attitude I'm already putting into the sec 5 life.

I feel tempted to do the obvious. But I can't. Because its been so long. Because we've gone through so many things and survived it. What more this? Isn't it just another mistake? Can't it be looked at like all the other mistakes we've made? My mind says no. My heart doesn't know.

This is tearing me apart. Literally. I don't know how much more grief I can take. You may not see it, but behind that eyes that gleam with confidence, laughter, and joy as it may look like, this is actually one weak girl deep down you're looking at, with the tears that wish to just fall everytime something sad happens.

I don't know.. I just wish someone could hold me and convince me that he's the motherfucker trying to ruin everything. Even she couldn't do it. She was at a loss for words. She just told me to stay strong.

What am I to do...?