The Ripped Soul

How can you tell if you love someone?

Is it when you see him getting teased and bullied, you stand up and defend him? Or is that merely an action done by a friend who cares?

I'm sick of my class.

No, correction. My class is quite okay. If I could just kick that fat, useless, giant out of my class, things would be okay. Even though we may not perform well cos he's a top scorer. HIS EGO IS KILLING ME.

Earlier, he kept on teasing YS. YS argued back. He said something else. YS said something back. And it got louder, and louder, and louder. AND THE NOISE JUST WOULDNT STOP. I shouted at both of them, told them to shut up. And told him sternly to do his fucking maths instead of disturbing people.

Know what he told one guy who was spectating their arguement?

"you know right.. some people cannot see the person be made fun of. Always must stand up for the fella. Know why? cos they like the fella. Understand me not?"

I swear to fucking God. I felt like punching him. Punching him so bad, his BLACK face would turn blue or red or something. Punching him SO fucking bad, his face would be pulp. His eyes would be smaller than the Ikan kuning's. His nose job worse than Michael Jackson's. His lips so puffed up, they'd be bigger than Anita Sarawak's.

But I tolerated it. Kept it all under the bottle. He snickered. He laughed. AT ME. I kept silent.

I looked at YS, hoping he'd defend me. Nothing was said.

I turned back to my EL compo and started scribbling.

You know, I just hate it how I'll keep his secrets of liking that chinese girl last year, and seeing him push me around, saying that I like YS. The deed's already been done TWICE. And it's fucking getting on my nerves. Just because I talk more to YS than any other guy in class, just because I'm the only girl who talks to YS, he's saying I like the guy.

It's irritating, annoying and fucking infuriating.

YS is just a guy. I talk to him because he's isolated in class, and is pretty friendless. He doesn't really seem the type to act cool or anything, but he's isolated because everyone thinks he's weird, and avoids him like a disease. I just talk to him. He's a nice chap who is a little weird sometimes. But he's nice. Not like other guys like THAT FUCKING BLACK GIANT who's an annoying swine. A jerk. He's not like that, though he can be, when there's a crowd. I don't like him LIKE him or have a crazy crush on him. Isn't that obvious?

Yes, I like his company cos he's friendly and funny. But talking nonsense with him in class doesn't mean I like him or anything what. URGH.

This is just fucking infuriating. I swear if another word comes out of that fat bastard's mouth saying that I like YS to another fellow in class, HIS GODDAMN SECRET WOULD BE SPILLED OUT ALL OVER THE DAMN CLASS! ON BLOG, BY EMAIL, BY FRIENDS.

HE'LL REGRET HE EVER MESSED WITH ME. Asshole.