The Ripped Soul

First, tag replys.

MANDA. : are you really sure you really want me to answer that question, amanda jane misso?

d a w n: LOL. Sorry laaah.. but there were bullets wad! SO ITS STILL POINT FORM! Well, somewhat. Hahahaha..

ERNIE: I LOVE YOU LA BUBBLES(:

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Then, an entry for special people.

you:

mr. satay man! Thanks so much for the free lontong rice cake yesterday when I brought my cuz to eat satay. Very sweet of you. I promise I'll come down there again just to eat your satay and everything else when I'm more loaded. Heh. LOVED YOUR SATAY BTW! It was awwwwesome. Cya round, pak cik!

you.:

why does it have to be this way? why must he always tell me things? why must you always say such shit about me? why are you doublecrossing me AGAIN for the countless time when you already said you'd never do it again the other time? were all those just words? was i someone you just wanted to make use of? was i never a friend? you asked me to help you - i did - you asked me not to do this - i did - so why do what you do? why talk behind my back? is it really all that fantastic to you whenever you anger me? do you find my fury amusing? why do you say one thing but do another? why do you say that to him, but to me a completely different story? why? do you want this to be over? are you desperately trying to go all the way to make either one of us call it quits? no doubt's don't speak - "you and me, i can see us dying, are we?"

you:

i heard so much things about you yesterday. i saw what you had to say, and boy did I get mad. have i ever been a cold person to you? have i ever ignored you in the face of others? okay, maybe an occasion or two. BUT WHY DO YOU THEN BOTHER TO TALK TO ME AT NIGHT AND SOUND ALL SO FRIENDLY WHEN YOU JUST BITCHED BEHIND MY FUCKING BACK AN HOUR OR TWO AGO? why say that i'm the bitch when you're bitching about me right there and then? why complain that i talk behind your back when you're doing it to me? why say that they're the bitches when you're one yourself? why place judgement? why doubt? to save yourself? okay, maybe i'll give you a tiny bit of credit for that. BUT STILL?! i don't place judgement on you. and as far as i'm concerned, you sure as hell don't have a damned right to place judgement on me.

you..:

you know, its funny. i heard your conversation, and its all about her. always about her. she sits right infront of me. but the hints in your conversation always point to me. "i'd climb to the ends of the earth if she asked me to." that gran turismo CD. that ffVI dvd. suddenlt just struck me like a bomb. are you hinting to me or am I just being so sensitive to the tiny minute details in your conversation? and another thing that's funnier? you're such a freak, i'm sorry to say - but i have this feeling inside that just likes you cos you're so nice and stuff. i can't go for you cos i got a feeling you don't like me in that sense. and besides, you and i are so far apart, right? i asked my cousin for advice last night, he told me to tell you to do stuff I do - so that we'll finally have an interest that meet. but i asked you if you watch this that or listen to this that today and you're just not into that kinda thing, period. sigh.. why am i trying so hard? cos you're so nice. you actually want me to feel that sense of urgency. you want me to do well. you're trying SO hard to motivate me to get my nose in my books. hell, you even want me to make it to the same poly as you. everytime i mention failure and ITE, you just keep screaming at me to work harder, to go the extra mile, to do whatever it'll take to pass that damn exam. sigh..

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Sometimes, I seriously wish some people would just grow up. And for some others, I wish they'd just stop hurting me. I wish so hard that I'd never feel this sense of guilt whenever I use words that hurt so that I can hurt all you bastards with words like how you hurt me, but I do. I feel this guilt when I type things in a certain way. And so I delete them. Frankly speaking, this is the 3rd entry I'm typing. Why? The other 2 were too vulgar, too unforgiving. Everything that was said was aimed and it hurt. So for this you, you, you.. you know who you are when you read it. I'm out. I need my sleep and I need to wake up to do english and some other revisions. GOODNIGHTO.