The Ripped Soul

How do you reject someone? No, wait. How do you reject a friend who likes you? No, wait. How do you reject a friend - who is suicidal - and who likes you?

How?!

Was I like, absent on the day when God was teaching everyone how to reject people nicely without feeling guilty? Sigh..

He's really starting to bother me. Okay, maybe he wouldn't if I had no idea that he liked me. But now that I do, I find his ways of getting my attention extremely annoying.

During EL class, it was an oral presentation kinda thing. I was given the topic: my favourite person. So I started talking about my best friend of 11 years - AJ aka Ms Actually [who has somewhat disappeared without a trace..] When I thanked the class and sat down, know what that bugger said?

"And I thought that you were gonna talk about me.."

HE MADE IT SOUND LIKE AS THO... URGHHHHH. Major urghness please. And where's that dustbin for puke?

SO damn thickskin lah! Irritating.

I mean, Andrea's thickskin-ness is tolerable. Ernie's is perfectly fine. Even Nick's. But this guy?! He seriously goes overboard! He doesn't sound sarcastic, he doesn't sound funny - HE SOUNDS BLOODY WELL SERIOUS.

And its not the first time. ..When I buy things for my girlfriends in class, he'd ask "how come I don't get one? Can I have one? I WANT! Why I don't haveee.." I know he's got ALOT of stuff for me. The CDs, the burnt CDs, the little souvenirs.. but still?

Earlier on in tha morn, I was feeling extremely moody. Girls, y'all know why. Starts with P, ends with S. And one thing about me the whole fuckin world should know - when I'm pissed, angry, annoyed, irritated - DO NOT COME TO ME AND PESTER AND ASK WHY IM ANGRY OR IRRITATED. If you ask the first time and I don't answer, DO NOT ASK AGAIN.

And that was his mistake. Even after she told him NOT to ask again - he did. AGAIN&AGAIN&AGAIN.

"come, tell uncle all about it." silence. "come, tell korkor all about it." silence. "come, tell me all about it." silence. "come on, what happened?" silence. "huh? what happened?" silence. "who pissed you off?" silence. "why are you so angry?" silence. "why the annoyed look?" silence. "can you open your mouth and say something?" silence.

I had to actually walk out of class for 10 minutes just to avoid yelling at him and regretting it later.

For the love of God. Jeremy, please for God's sake, come home. Come home before I finish my last paper. Last thing I'd ever need is him asking me out - which he plans to do after the last paper. SOMEBODY PLEASE SAVE ME.

I was actually brain storming on how I could shift his attention to someone else during mother tongue class.

Soln 1: Get someone to pose as my "boyfriend". So its like, my "boyfriend" would meet me some days, sometimes after school, or I'd call him on the phone in front of this guy and go all mushy and shit like that. [Evil, I know.]

Soln 2: Reject him straight up, tell him face to face that I don't like him THAT way; but if he's cool with it, we could still be friends. [And I know for a fact he'll go berserk if I pull this string. Cos I went crazy the moment my first crush rejected me straight up.]

Soln 3: Still thinking.

Okay, honestly people. I know I'm being evil by plotting such ideas.. but why not you try being in my shoes? I don't like the guy. He's nice as a friend, yes. So am I. But he's really trying TOO hard to impress me. And as I've said in many entries before.. I don't like guys and go after them or agree to be their girlfriend out of pity or out of good impressions. Yes, good impressions is a must; but don't overdo it. I like guys who play their cards cool - and not all panicky going "OMG, what card should I throw next? Ah, maybe this one.. then maybe she'd fall for me. Ah..." Not me. Doesn't mean that I'd be your girlfriend just cos you're one rich fellow or some suicidal case who feels that life is meaningless every other day. I'm not like that. Why can't he just understand that? I've said it before openly in a conversation with my girlfriends.

And please. He is so not my type. As a friend - okay, I try really really hard to control his nonsense. Other than that, there is just no chemistry. At all.

He dyes his hair ah beng style. BLONDE FRINGES. He's 1/3 my size. Think of P.O.W.s.

Oh, and another time when I was in for a rude shock? After PE. I was complimenting on one of the guys in my class that he had a nice figure, when he lifted his shirt and proved that he has the figure as well.

GAWD.

Seriously, I don't know why he tries so hard. I mean, if you try once, and nothing's sparking, try again, nothing's sparking, try another time and you realise that nothing's gonna come out of it - then why try again and again and again? Especially if the person is a friend. If the person doesn't budge, then just stop it and enjoy the friendship. He's pushing so hard and fighting for my attention. He's going overboard. From what seemed like a good impression, he's turning it all into bragging. I love being amazed, yes. I don't like showoffs.

He's getting on my nerves. And I'm praying really hard that I just won't snap one fine day.

RAAAAAAAH!!!