The Ripped Soul

Just like a star across my sky,
Just like an angel off the page,
You have appeared to my life,
Feel like I'll never be the same..
Just like a song in my heart,
Just like oil on my hands,
Oh.. I do love you..

Sigh.. I have one hell of a cat.

It wasn't a pleasant homecoming for Moo. When Helen brought her here, she was behaving well, she let me stroke her, pet her.. the works. She was busy exploring the house as Helen told me to clear my messy house to prepare for her mother's arrival the next week. So much for 'can you be my kitty's new owner?' ...I feel like a caretaker, not an owner.

The moment Helen left, all hell broke loose. She sat next to my guitar. Refused to budge. She was surrounded by bags and bags and more bags. After my mom covered whatever gaps she could, I tried to coax her out. Food, treats, water pistol, her carpet... nothing worked. She just stayed there and snarled if you came close.

When my mom managed to chase her out of that corner by clapping hangars, she ran into MY room. And just like any other cat, she ran and hid under my bed. Where its dusty. Oh so very dusty. I haven't touched things under the bed for almost 5 years. Imagine the collected dust.

So, animal rescuers - me and my mom - tried to coax her to get out. We tried kitty treats, we tried her food, we tried string... nothing worked. Then we tried the vac. It worked and she ran out into the hall again. She hid behind my computer table where the cables all are at. And she didn't budge. Not for a few hours. It was only at 230am when she came out and rested on her carpet.

8am this morning?

"JESS! WAKE UP! WHERE'S THE CAT! ITS NOT IN THE COMPUTER AREA!"

Panic. Early in the bloody morning. Its like telling me "JESS! JESS! YOUR MOM WONT WAKE UP!"

Walau. Ultimate alarm man. If they had 365 different warnings, I swear I'd have never been late for school once. Ever.

I rushed out of bed, checked under my bed again, checked the kitchen, toilet, utility room, mom's room.. no where to be found. Lifted the flap of my table... and there she was, snarling her good-morning to me.

Tried to get her out, failed. Refused to budge again. We decided to let her be.

When I went to my room to read and when my mom had her 40 winks, she crept into my mother's room which was a no-cats zone.

I panicked again when my mother came in my room "EH WHERES THE CAT!"

The hell.

I switched off everything and hoped to God for a tiny tinkle of her bell. She was in my mother's room. Behind the TV and stereo set.

After 2 hours, and bitching and yelling and threatening... she ran under my mother's bed.

This time, we tried every single fucking thing. Even umbrellas. Nothing worked. So we tried the vac again. Didn't work initially cos she kept clawing at the vac.

I was so darn pissed over 1 and a half days worth of hell, I took out the cat cage and placed it infront of my mother's door.

When she ran, she ran INTO the cage. Thinking she could run through it to the other side. When she figured she couldn't, she was jumping and clawing and snarling.. the works.

Jess - 1 // Moo - 0

Now, after 6 hours, she still hasn't forgiven me, still doesn't wanna eat, still doesn't wanna drink. Whenever I go close to the cage, she growls and bites. Too close, she claws.

The sad thing here is I really love animals. Cats, dogs, hammies.. I don't want her to be put at SPCA in fear that she might be put to sleep. But how do I get an unfriendly cat to be friendly? I want her to be loved and I want to be loved by her. I don't wanna be her no.1 enemy!

Don't say give her time because all I'll give is 5 days. The maximum. I can't give more than that because Helen's flying off soon and if its gonna be anyone who's gonna dump the cat to SPCA, I won't let it be me.

I feel so helpless. Just wished there's something I could do to befriend the cat.

She's still growling at me even after reading this entry aloud. Sigh..