The Ripped Soul

Why is it that when I saw you today, everything felt different?
How did you get me so restless?
Why did I feel faint all of a sudden?

And what was that feeling when I caught your eye? Shock? Or a hurt that's yet to be buried?

And what was I longing for exactly?

For you to come up to me and kiss me/mess my hair/slap me on the back?
For you to say 'eh wanna go for coffee/dinner/supper later?'
For you to come over and say hello instead of staying so far away?
For you to say 'hey, wanna have a match?' or a 'okay, il cya around sometime..'

Or was it for just a simple thing? Like a smile and a wave?

And when you came over to ask what game was I playing, why did I feel like crawling under the table and never wanting to hear your voice/see you again?

Why is it that I didn't feel this way when I met you that time in starbucks, but feel this way when out of the blue I see you and your best friend at the cybercafe?

And why is it that when I recall how cold you were when you just said bye, my heart somewhat fell? Worse, why did I hate myself so much after being the one saying 'okay, so il cya around sometime..'

Goddamnit Jem, its been 9 months already.

So why am I not over you yet?