The Ripped Soul

:'(

I feel sad.

Suddenly I know how she felt.

When she was so angry yet so sad and felt so clueless, so helpless. When she wanted to blow the whole friendship off.

On some days I just want to do the same, avoid all the calls, all the plans...

Just feel so tired. So sick of caring.

On another note, Ria's leaving.

Can't really seem to explain how sad I get when I think about how life's gonna be without her here. Especially when we've all gotten so close since he left.

How Naz might never meet me again since our last sour conversation.. besides that hello-hello on Ria's phone that night. Hahah. How all our ties might be cut short when she goes. How night cycling will be so empty without one in between. How I'll have no one to run to when I'm so sick of CH and Jaws..

And him.. hah.

Messages with no replies. A letter with no answer back.

Maybe I shouldn't have given him that letter afterall.

Sometimes its hard to just live on beliving and hoping that he'll really return back to Sg after 2 years. Sometimes its harder to try and move on. How hard? Think scraping and dragging your face against the roadside. That kind of hard.

I wish I didn't fall so deep. Then maybe the landing when he left wouldn't be that terrible either.

Either which way, its far too late for regrets.. what's done can't be undone.

And she's still leaving anyway. No stopping that.

Sigh..

And after 23minutes of typing this all out, life still goes on....