The Ripped Soul

Finished work early today, got home reluctantly. Double checked with Diz if SRG needed any manpower.. then she was explaining that its hard to get me to help them now, since I'm a person with position..

Fuck, man.

Get a position and I can't help other outlets once I'm off duty? That fucking sucks.

And don't even think about "eh, then why not you help your outlet?"

It's just nice to have a change of scene, a breath of fresh air... going back to places you once worked, working with people you miss.

Irene dropped by today; she was asking me about Kenny.. and when I gave a negative reaction, she smiled, looked at me and said i was naughty. -- What?

Not saying I'm bias or not giving him a chance or whatever! He REALLY is like that at work, and he REALLY freaks me out with all his perverse conversations, enough said much?

Anna said her comment was freaky, that's why she'd never say it to my face - Kenny is the definition of freaky! Look up 'freaky' in the dictionary and you will see:

Freaky - Fre-ae-kee - Kenny.

To use in a sentence: Don't be Kenny.

BASICALLY!

God.

Tried to explain to Irene I wasn't being bad or anything the like, but she just cut me off saying she knows, it's just a general thing to say.. -- What?

Whatever.

All I know is I couldn't wait for work to be over.

Helen was saying she likes working with Kat and me now, because now she doesn't need to worry about what needs to be done, things just GET done.

Well, that's the job of a no.2 right? To make sure things get done? Everything runs smoothly, everything is prepared for...

So your worries Helen, not yours anymore. They're mine.

Zid saw me smoking outside on my break and he asked me what was I daydreaming about.

Daydream?

I wish I could.

I was sitting at the back wondering why both of the upp mgt were around, if it was anything related to the stupid black angus steak, if I was doing everything right, if I was up to their expectations, if I was doing a good job or a bad one...

Moment Irene stepped in, I swapped music players, the first thing she asks me about is "where's kat?" then she pops in the kitchen and goes "where's Alan?"

Jesus.

I wish I could be Cain in the bible and say "I am not my brother's keeper" ....but obviously I had to have some knowledge on where my chef and manager were.

Manager would come in at 3, that I knew.

My chef?

THE FUCK I KNOW BALLS!

...And apparently Helen knew that he would be late, but didn't inform me.

Dear God.

Another reason to miss SRG, if Rick was EVER going to be late, he would call the outlet and inform ANY one of us. And there's just that communication where EVERYONE will know that he would be late or what not. Or come on, even the other time when I was supposed to do opening and I arrived a little late, Ivan covered for me and said I was at the washroom.

YOU SEE WHY I CAN'T STOP MISSING SRG?!

There's everything to make it a damn good place to work in.

Communication, teamwork, care, concern, friendship, leadership.

Sigh.

Came home and it wasn't any better. Saw both of them at home and my blood just started boiling like a mad motherfucker.

How is it fair to me if they're at home having the time of their lives and I'm out slogging like a cow?

Changed, was annoyed he was using the PC even AFTER I told him to get off it, took the fan outside and went to my room. Shut the fucking door.

Tried to sleep, wouldn't get any. He was blasting the speakers.

Now it just makes me MORE determined to get that damn notebook with the wireless connection. So I'll have one more reason to STOP fighting with anyone in this god damn house.

Shit..

And I don't know why.. but throughout the entire day, I couldn't stop thinking of you.

Would it be wrong to say I actually miss you?

Hmm.