If you could say one thing to me...

You're an amazing person. You've helped me so much by just being there, and when I said I would be here for you always, even when the whole world walks out, I meant that. It'll always be true. No matter what. And also. You're pretty :P (Of course you know that alreaaaady :P) You're one of those best friends that makes an impact on a person's life. I know you've made one on mine.

Mr Anonymous, I love you and you're my best friend. I will always be here for you, so holla when you need me! I got a feeling I know who you are... but I won't disclose your name here. :)
And just as I have made an impact in your life, trust me, you have just made one on mine when I read that message tonight after a rough day's work.

One thing to learn about me, I hate being pressured. If I have a dateline, if I have to learn something, fine. Tell me. Don't pressure me. Guide me, don't give me additional stress when I'm already stressing out.

Like a person trying to learn how to drive and you're the passenger in front screaming "BRAKE! BRAKE!!! Okay, wait... FASTER! NOW! FASTERRRRRRR!"

And I just get sent into a frenzy of emotions. Stress being the least of it. Annoyance and irritation piling one on top of the other, forming the majority.

So that's what happened at work. I still can't let it go, I'm still annoyed as hell.

Jem could still text if I was at Serangoon, because he was eating there with his friends and he couldn't see me. Told him I transferred out to BDK.

Sigh.

Finished work and to top off the closing stress, I had to deal with a fucking filthy kitchen and a flying cockroach that landed on my NECK.

Fuck.

Cleaned up, was the last person to leave..

Drank my margarita and took away the rest in a stringbag only to fill up a Slurpee cup later with it.

Thought of going home because I missed Steve.. then she called and started yapping about money, bills and me treating the home like a hotel.

And that's just when I blew it.

Called Anna and decided on crashing over again.

At this rate I might as well kill myself.

I slog, take all this shit at work, she expects so much out of it, out of me, BUT I HAVE NOTHING TO GIVE ANYMORE!

It's so tempting to just throw the money in her face on Monday and just disappear from the face of the earth. Literally.

I'm just so tired of living right now. I'd rather die.

On another completely different note, I don't know if you would ever read this.. probably not, but if you do.. well, to what you told me earlier today, don't cry anymore or suffer in depression like that again, okay? If ever you need someone to talk to, a shoulder to cry on, a person to bitch with, and the whole world isn't there.....

I'm there.

I'm here. There. Everywhere. No, I'm not your stalker or the fly on your wall. But I always will be there for you. No matter what. Be it 3am in the morning phonecalls or smacking my face in the middle of the night or pushing me and pulling me back on the bed, or even ruffling my hair before I go to bed.

So don't ever feel like you have no one, because you still got me. :)

Now to sleep off this stress and margarita.

Work 12 hours tomorrow. How fucking fun.