The Ripped Soul

Saw you online, unblocked you and talked to you. I wanted to get my defense across that ugly entry of yours.

Spoke half my mind about it, the rest of it is here on my blog. Don't know if you even know the address, but here's praying you never find out about it because it's probably going to crush you or make you hate yourself more. Or hate me. Whichever.

At the end of it all, you keep insisting you still want me in your life - why don't you get that by having me still sticking around, its going to make your relationships so much harder?

If it's clear enough you still love me and think of me as it is now, what more when I'm around there for sure?

It's not like I'm over you, either. I'm not in love with you anymore and I don't love you like I used to, but I don't hate you, and I still treasure all the memories we had.

By having me around it's not being very fair to your current lover or boyfriend.. as you admitted yourself to thinking about me when he's kissing you.

Even just by talking to you earlier, you hurt me so many times with so many sentences. Saying you spent on me; it's not like I forgot all those, you know? Anderson's, movie tickets, taxi rides.. I accepted those, sure. I paid for them as and when I could. And for times you offered me cash out of your own wallet, I never accepted that.

I know you gave me all you did out of love.. but why be so calculative about it now?

Let's face it, even in this friendship, we both got hurt, right? So why bother? How can we be lovers if we can't be friends? How can we start over when the fighting never ends?

So let go. Be happy with Dom. I'll fix my broken heart myself, I'll mend my ripped soul without your fucking help.

Then talking to you tonight, and you were saying that I'm complaining about not being able to go out with you, but how can we both when our off days are different and our working hours are shit?

Then you told me about having the need to squeeze time for him and how your other relatives, family and friends are also asking for you to spend time with them..

I never felt more selfish in my life. So okay, I won't ask anymore.

Looks like I'm just left alone now.
Oh well.

Nothing new.