We've been friends for what? 8 years? Yet it feels like it's been forever. Feels like yesterday when I was laughing mad at you for dancing around class on a broomstick, feels like yesterday when I called you a nutcase in Goy's class. Feels like yesterday when you played on your clarinet and I sang out loud for the whole world to hear. And yet here we are, 8 years from then, and wow.
I know I'm a douche for not being able to surprise you like you did for me, and trust me, that's bad enough as it seems. I know I'm a bad friend for not going to your family's baby shower thing, I know I'm hella bad by not going out when you call me to. I just hope you understand the situation I'm in for now..
I feel bad enough when people are bringing me out, taking me out. That includes Anna as well.
I don't know. I like dates and everything, but I don't like people paying for me all the damn time.
And I can't pay for anything right now, so fuck.
I'll just stay home and rot and die.
On another note, in fiesta, I took Mormo out from Bijou and started on another server - Cypion. I hate going to talk show host, so I'm not gonna bother. But I wanna get warrior, hard as it is.
I left Bijou because of Avianna, she came back and I found out she married someone else - and she was going all "I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I MISS YOU SO MUCH" - please.
If she loved me at all, she wouldn't be cheating on my ass.
And Merl/Emily left fiesta. She's not playing anymore.
Amber left as well.
Jess left as well.
I don't even see Elijah online anymore.
And the last straw was when people started calling me noob and nub for a whole fucking week.
So I got tired. Left and ran to Cypion.
And it's the same there.
I thought with Rinnie I'd feel better.
She was saying "Jess doesn't level past 61. I wouldn't marry her."
That kinda stung.
And how she was always my best friend and everything, but now .. it just seems like it's not the case, anymore.
I'm lonely I guess. I don't know.
Go to Bijou, I have no one.
Go to Cypion, I have no one either.
In real life, I'm as alone as it gets.
It kinda sucks. Fuck it, it sucks.
I miss being loved and being wanted and being cared for.
No one does that anymore.
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