The Ripped Soul

Horoscope was right, as much as Anna tried to perk it up and tell me that I'm gonna kick today's ass.

Found out Hayley wasn't talking about the item I threw ("someone gimme that") at the concert. It was someone else's toy that landed in the front of the stage. I can't deny that it wasn't heartbreaking. It was.

Walked around town and tried to find for a top for her for work, but failed epically. Resorted to some hang ten polos.

Walked her over to work and it felt awesome for a little bit. The stage, the crew and everything. G asked if I was free and wanted to work, I said okay, so he told me to wait around till 530 to see if there was a pass available. Walked over to Marina Square and walked around looking for a top.. found a real nice nike one going for half the normal price, but decided not to buy until the green light was given.

Green light wasn't given, so I decided to go home instead.

Came home and it's just crap at home all over again. Courts gave my mom a lawyer's bill and expect the payment tomorrow or else. So she's stressing me out. That money I'm gonna get from my catering thing last year is supposed to go to the Genting trip. Not this. Went down and checked anyway, and the money's just not in the bank. Came up, gave the bad news, and now the house just feels like as if someone just died.

Online, Guy asked if something was wrong, why is it that I wanted to go to the States so bad. And I just told him everything. Rinnie and her pregnancy and the abortion and how she has no one there for her, Elijah and his mom fighting cancer, and Shea. And how bad I just want to see her.

And he just tells me that I'm not missing much in Singapore. Kinda like, it's no point going over to the States. I might as well just live here.

When I'm ALREADY here and I feel like fucking ripping my head off.

I feel like blasting Paramore, but I'm really just not feeling it. I wanna laugh at the annoying orange, but it just won't come.

Instead tears fall as I type this out.

I didn't ask for this life, I don't ask for anything much. But when people make promises, all I expect is for them to KEEP them. STICK to their fucking word.

But it always comes back broken.

Maybe I'll play We are broken and go to sleep.

This day's been bad enough.