First news : Elijah's mom passed away.
I'm so sorry to hear that lil bro, and even more sorry that I cannot be there with you at this point of time to support you and show you all the love that I have for you and your family. But remember one thing, that she is always around and will always be with you no matter what. Hang tough, and be strong. At least she suffers no more. Remember all those around you who love you dearly, and hang on. I love you Elijah, and I'll always be here for you regardless. Never forget that.
Second bit : Korinne's going for the abortion tomorrow.
Words can't express the need I have to be there. But I know I can't. I wish I could though. I wish I could be there not to annoy her, but to help her. Because God knows what is running through her head right this moment, and what will run through tomorrow. Times like these I wish I was the richest kid in the world, living with no boundaries. I'd take the next flight out, I promise you.
God be with you Rin, I'll be praying for you. Pray that you won't suffer so much, pray that the pain wouldn't be that intense. Pray that it will be smooth, pray that you'll come back as soon as it's all over. I love you, no matter what happens, and I'll always be here for you; momma shrimp or not.
Third bit : It's all a lie.
They're still asking for money, my godmother's pressuring my mom to sell this house.. [and if she does, someone please enlighten me on where I'm going to live kthx] When mom told me not to rely on it no longer, a part of me inside just died. I just cried. I took the meds for laryngitis and pneumonia and just knocked myself right the fuck out. I didn't want to hear anymore.
Lady Gaga's coming to Singapore, I probably wouldn't go. Pitbull's coming to Singapore, I probably wouldn't go either.
And Florida seems so far away with just $54.10 in my wallet. Aunt Reg was talking to me on MSN and telling me that Daryl [my cousin] would be going to the States in June since her elder son has got mileage points he can use to fly overseas, so it's all free. How lucky, huh? When I told her I was planning and saving to go to Florida she could ask me why won't I ask my dad for money. I haven't spoken to him in years.. and he hasn't sent down a single cent all this time. Why would he even send anything now? He's not even rich.
And I felt more alone than ever. Felt so broken. It felt like all those years ago when I had to watch everyone around me have all the things they wanted, watch all their dreams come true.. while I was just there at the sidelines, watching. He had the cars, he had the game consoles, he had the PC, he had Star Wars, he had a piano, he had everything. I had to settle for watching or wait for 2nd hand items.
Everytime I feel driven for something, someone or something else always has to drag me down. Why can't anyone just help fuel my dream? Make it come true or at least believe in it as much as I do? Instead of slapping reality in my face or crushing it altogether with sarcasm? I've lived enough years with broken dreams. All I'm asking is for this one to come true.
Then there's Genting, which was a blast. But I'm not gonna blog that right now. I'm too depressed to do anything. Off to take another overdose of cough syrup, then sleep.
Night cruel world.
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