This is how it always starts.

I'm going out on Good Friday. I need to pass Joce her bag that she left behind when she came by the other day.

And Maundy Thursday? No, I'm not going to church either. I already told you, I've skipped Ash Wednesday, definitely ignored the entire lenten season and I didn't even go for mass on Palm Sunday. Why start on Maundy Thursday, go out on Good Friday, then do my usual on the weekend? What good would it do anyway? Feel that God would go "oh my child, so you have been thinking about me.. thanks for coming to church." Momma, please. God knows I talk to him everyday before I sleep, when I wake, and for every other moment when I start cursing God, damn it.

And to face hypocrites? Please. I know at least half who go to church, say I'm sorry God, then come out and do shit all over again. Fuck that. I'd rather be the prodigal son all my life. Or just be me. I respect you, God, and all the days you have sorted for the calendar - and I thank you for blessing me with the morals I've grown up with and still have today.

Then it was telling me about my relatives going down to my grandmother's house over the Easter weekend and she was asking if I'd be interested to go. Seriously?

He's dead. There's nothing in that house that's left for me to go to. A grandmother that puts the blame of his death on me? Yeah, I don't think that's very fair. And for me to go down and pretend to enjoy the easter season? Yeah sure, let's all sit in a circle, eat Easter eggs and sing Kum-Ba-Yah.

Come the fuck on.

Ever since the funeral, all I've heard were stories about how everyone was talking about me. When I lived in my aunt's house and I did nothing except eat, sleep, wake up, play my xbox, surf the internet and that was my life.

All I've heard were people talking about what I was doing on the daily behind my back.

Was it fair?

I'm sorry, I don't spill the dirt on any of your sons or daughters, so why the fuck is everyone doing it to me?

And I have to go down on Easter Sunday to pay my respects and say hello to everyone?

Fuck all of you. I'd rather die alone.

So pissed, right? And she goes "I'm gonna get an iPad or a galaxy tab."

FOR WHAT?!

"Which one is better? Wifi or 3g or both?"

All due respect, you got yourself an MP5, had me load it up with songs and videos and movies in the middle of the motherfucking night for you, and you just chucked the bitch of a thing in a corner blaming me for not teaching you how to use it.

And you want a tablet?

I asked if you could buy the MJ game for me and you said I'd have to pay back for it because you're using house money.

BUT YOU CAN GO AHEAD AND FUCKING BUY A GODDAMN TABLET?!

Jesus Fucking Christ.