msn personal message : go away. do not talk to me.

you:
technically, i'm not talking.
and i'm not anyplace near you now, so i'm away.
hello

me:
what do you want?

you:
what's wrong?
okay, so i don't suppose putting a smile on your face is as easy as before
but i can try right?
i mean, it would be easier if i was there. borrow your read nose. try juggling and fail
or just act cool, then i'd really fail
or make a total ass outta myself.
okay...i'll stop talking now
just know, if you need someone to talk to, or yell at, i'm a phone call/text message/im away
even if you don't wanna talk to me, at least talk to someone okay?
and take care of yourself
God bless you.
good night.

--

FUCK YOU, YOU UNDERSTAND?

I am so sick with anger right now. I'm filled with so much hatred within, it's not even funny. It's this kind of moods where people commit bloody murder and don't regret it till they snap out of it the next day.

The personal message was clear. LEAVE ME ALONE. GO AWAY. DO NOT TALK TO ME.

Don't even try to be funny with me.

Previously it was easier to laugh because you were a friend. Not saying you're the enemy now, but you're the reason why I feel like this in the first place.

WHY CAN'T YOU STOP PUTTING ME IN SO MUCH MISERY?

You could seriously have the nerve to ask me what the fuck is wrong?

WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG?

SERIOUSLY?

And don't talk to you, talk to someone?

TALK TO WHO?

ALL MY FRIENDS KNOW YOU'RE THE REASON WHY I FEEL THIS WAY.

Frankly, I can tell they're sick of hearing me tell them whatever it is regarding you. They're sick of it. They're telling me "MOVE ON JESS. LET IT GO. BLOCK. DELETE. FUCK IT."

And honestly, I'm quite sick of all of this too. I'm sick of seeing you act all "whats wrong" when you "KNOW" what's wrong. YOU FUCKING KNOW WHATS WRONG.

IF YOU DON'T, THEN WHAT THE FLYING FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?

Please for God's sake.. stop this already. I'm broken, hurt beyond repair, ripped to shreds, torn, drowning in misery, suffocating in anger and hatred.

I'm trying to heal myself but everyone keeps hurting me. You keep hurting me. Memories keep hurting me. Please. I'm fucking begging you.

I'm just asking for respect.

The least you can do is just give me that after all I've lost.