The Ripped Soul

At Anna's now.

Decided to crash over cause I didn't wanna go home... another night of arguing over money, or work or anyone taking my cigarettes and I would just blow up and move the fuck out.

Speaking of which, I only have 3 sticks left.. and I'm gonna smoke another one now. Fuck.

2 left.

ANYWAY.

I like being around Anna and Clarence. And Princess [their dog]. Hahaha.

Sam and Diz are just as awesome.

Work the past week has been shit at Tmp.

I'm at the point of wanting to resign... because my second IC seems like a slut that wants the easy jobs most of the time.. the two newbies.. one acts like he's blur and can't understand the words coming out of my fucking mouth, the other tires easily. But I won't blame him maybe because he's a little older than I am.. so his energy level is just as different.

My new manager is good.. but his styles, I don't like so much. And it's hard to adapt. The place is forever busy.. with breaks inbetween lunch and dinner hours.. just like how it was back at SGN.

I miss sgn sometimes... irony, since I used to complain about the place when I worked initially.

Cried on Tuesday because it was all too much to handle... don't know if it was PMS but I couldn't take it. Was supposed to be cashier for the night, but 2nd IC chased me to the navi station after the second order I took. I didn't mind it initially.. until more responsibilities got thrown on me, until I got pushed around the place.

Thought of SGN and I broke down. The guys there would never push me to the limit... I had shit there as well, Diz would yell at me, the kitchen guys might get angry over getting slammed...

But they never pushed my limits.

And I just thought of you... back at Charc's if anyone pushed me around, you were there. And you're not here anymore.

Sitting here typing, thoughts of you run through my mind.. happy memories. Back in the day when we were still together.. You cooking for me, chasing me out of your kitchen.. your laughter at all my jokes..

The nights together, cuddling next to you, all your hugs, letting me sleep in your arms, and you sleeping in mine after..

I miss you.

I miss being loved like that.

Fuck.

I need a new pack of cigarettes.