The Ripped Soul

So this is Christmas, what have you done...

Don't you hate having elder brothers? I know I don't like mine.

First, it started with her having an i-phone, then an i-phone cover, then the Lady Gaga taptap game on the i-phone.

Because they know I LOVE Lady Gaga. Ah fuck, the whole world that revolves around me KNOWS I love the woman.

Then it was the soft toys from the arcade. The toy remote control car. The shirt. The jacket.

The tickets to This Is It. Tickets and pictures going to Batam. The food. The drinks. The facials. The soaps. The shampoos.

All untouchable, of course.

The new room in the back. The paint. The new curtains. The new wardrobe. The new lights. The new christmas tree. The new carpet.

The new Ecko watch with the graffiti design.

Then the new David Beckham shoes from Limited Ed. "Check this out! Feel the shoes... yeah, it's mine, I got it for Christmas..."

And today on Christmas morning, you come back, and the first thing you shove under my nose is...

"hey see what I got for Christmas? Banana Republic Slate eau de parfum.. happening or what! Guess who got it for me? Her mom! Not cheap y'know..."

Yes brother. I know.

It'd also help if you'd stop fucking showing off your shit before I throw it out.

I don't know why it makes him so happy that I'm this jealous.

How he can snicker at the fact that I might not have the things he does.

Is it some kind of accomplishment?

And Wayne could ask "hey what did your mom get you for Christmas?"

If you asked me, I'd say nothing. Because she really didn't get anything. Not new clothes, new shoes, a plane ticket, a new computer, a new xbox 360, a new CD, a new PS3, a new phone, a new wallet.. nothing.

But if I dared ask my mother.. she'll say the first thing :

I put a roof over your head.
I put food on the table.
I put drinks in the fridge.
I put your life in existence.
You should be working, but you're not.
You still have the internet.
You still have a computer infront of you.
You still have the electricity running.

So I guess.. I can't ask for much, right?

I'm contented with fiesta and everything I got here.

But sometimes when I snap back to reality, it's.. sad.

It's like I've got nothing, yet everything.

DUN DUN DUNNNNNNNN.............