Anna called me on my cell at 9am. THE FUCK.
My mom was like THERES SOMEONE AT THE DOOR KNOCKING. The fuck.
I had to drag my ass out of bed.. say hi to Anna early in the morning. My brains were fried. They're still fried. Sorry if I wasn't hospitable or anything dear. I'm a horrible person.
Sat there, listened to my mom talk to Anna about everything going on. Selling the house, my godmother, the money issue.. whatnot.
Showered. I felt like killing myself in there. ONE HOUR OF SLEEP. Maybe even fucking less.
Eventually all of us left.. and Anna left with my passport. I was supposed to follow her into JB sometime today or tomorrow and be back Saturday. All of which got cancelled, by the way.
Went to HDB first. Found out that I can't get a rental flat because I'm not 35. I just fucking turned 21 and even that is shit in the eyes of the board. My mom can't get another flat till after 2 years. Everything requires paperwork or an appointment. We have to email somebody and get a letter for an appointment. And we can only do all this when we finally sell the fucking house. Literally. Like when we hand over the damn keys.
I got mad that I was basically useless for shit. I couldn't get a flat. WHERE THE FUCK AM I GOING TO LIVE ONCE AUGUST IS OVER?
Saw Sarah, again. I miss her, I really do. Whispered in her ear "are you stalking me?" To which she replied "I think you're the one stalking ME considering I actually live around here.. haha" I laughed. I miss her hugs. I miss talking to her, I miss how protective she was of me. Like back at Charco's and if Din wanted to hit me or smack me with a book, she would really get protective. She was fierce like that. I loved that about her.
But so much happened since then.. and I don't know how she would react if she knew what went on. And I'd be too embarrassed to face her again. It's bad enough when she came up straight and said "You like girls right?" I just about lost all my balls there. Yeah, I do. But it's not something that's easy to admit to people who you treat like family, who've seen you grow up from when you were a kid.
She seems accepting to my choice of sexuality though, so I'm glad I still feel loved. I'm glad she still hugs me.
And those are some things which I would never admit irl.
Anyway, went over to 313 to go to New Look, then to Plaza Singapura after. Bought a pair of Zombie pants. I LOVE IT. I am going to get outrageous looking nike's and wear them together. Swear. One day. Just.. one day.
Then to OG, where mom wanted to look for the Guess? bag she wanted to buy the other time. It wasn't there. Decided to look for her shoes, so we searched high and low till we got the right kind. Walking out and we started bickering. She spends 85 on shoes and this guy starts trying to sell her soles for 85 as well.
WHO WOULD NOT FREAK THE FUCK OUT?
And she was actually entertaining his chitter chatter. I couldn't care less. 85 for a shoe and then you wanna get extra soles for 85 too? Fuck you. That's a waste of money right there. If you told me the shoes were 15 and the soles were 85, maybe I'd consider. But this was just bullfuckingshit.
And she just had to say "sorry I have to go, my daughter is bitching at me"
NO, mom. I'm not BITCHING at you. I'm trying to drive fucking common sense in your head that you've spent ENOUGH on a pair of shoes, and that getting a pair of EXPENSIVE soles is kinda fucking redundant.
Out of the mall and we were just arguing non stop. And I look at the time and she goes "if you wanna go out with Anna, go! I can enquire about the phone myself. I can do everything else by myself. I can carry Steve's sandbag by myself."
And I just fucking about flared. I'm walking around on a fucking hot day on ONE HOUR OF SLEEP. I entertain your wants to buy this and that, I fork out my money to buy your shoes, and this is the shit I had to face.
I took out my cell and texted Anna that I wouldn't be meeting her. Just because.
Sometimes I can't help but feel like I'm tied. It sucks when you don't have the time to be there, but it sucks just as hard when you have all the time, but everyone wants you EVERYWHERE.
Went to Plaza feeling like shit. Walked around and boom, no black pants to be found. No jeans my size, no pair of jeans that's cheap. I love the Springfield jeans, but it was too costly. 89.90? Come on.
Went to Star to enquire about the Vivaz and the guy serving us gave us a FUCKING complicated roundabout on how to get the phone for cheap. He couldn't give any offers, there were no handset vouchers.. in the end he told me to go home, go online and buy it from there, since it's cheaper.
I watched as mom got her phone. Yay.
Walked around after. Looked at all the Xbox360s. Went to Funan. Walked more. Went to AMKHub. Walked until I felt so cranky. There was so much shit to carry. Waited to get home.. signed up for the phone online.
I'm just stoned rn. The evaluator is coming tomorrow. Fuck my life and my mornings. Gaaaaah.
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